Sleep...I miss it!

When I was pregnant, everyone said the same thing over and over again, "be sure to get your sleep because once the baby is born, you won't have any for the next 20 years!". Ok, so I expected it but OMG, I really do miss it. I am so tired but only when she's asleep. I'm cranky when I wake up. Then I am wide awake until she falls asleep. Then, about 30 min later, I'm wiped. It's amazing how the body adjusts. I get about 1-2 hours sleep at a time. My DD goes through spurts where she will sleep for 4 hours straight for about 2 days, then she goes back to her sleep every 2 hours or so.
I do get my sleep when I can...but sometimes, things just need to get done!!
I am having my family over for Christmas lunch. It is going to be fun, fun, fun!!
I will do some of the prep work over the next 2 days. I think this will definitely make life easier. My DH will be off as of Wednesday, so he will be able to help as well.
We then go to the in-laws for Christmas supper. They have asked us to stay the night, but with a new baby and no set schedule, I think home will be the better place to be. They are only about 20 min away from us so it's not very far.
I still have gifts to wrap and we have to find a Christmas tree!! We don't want something big this year but we definitely need one!! And soon because it still has to be decorated.
I guess we will see!

Having a blast!

Well, it's been a while since I last posted. With good reason of course!! My baby girl is 2 weeks old today. Time really flies!
I'm wide awake today since our little princess managed to let her mommy get 4 hours of sleep in a row!! And then continued with another 3 hours. Let me tell you - that makes a huge difference. I still stare at her in amazement, our little miracle. My emotions were off the wall last week and even a little on the weekend, but they seem to be calming down, which I am very happy about. I still want to cry at every little thing but at least I'm not going into hysterics at my hubby. I had my hubby with me for 2 weeks and now I am alone with her. It's totally different now. By the time my hubby comes home and we have supper, he's not far off from bed. He does spend some time with her before he goes to bed but I'm sure he wishes he had more time. He is working all week this week and then Monday and Tuesday of next week and then he will be off until Jan 5th. It will be great to have him home again.
Christmas is a whole other story. I was lucky enough to have decorated on the Monday I was admitted to the hospital, December 1st. So the only things left is to buy a Christmas tree (and soon!!) and of course wrap the gifts we have bought. DH and I haven't even bought for eachother yet. We're cutting it pretty close but with good reason. We have bought a few little things for our DD but there is still more that I would like to buy.
Time definitely flies! I won't even be able to send out Christmas cards this year...I think it's the first time in quite a few years that I won't be sending them out. I think I will try to send out some cards with DD's pic in the New Year. I guess we will see.

Latest Dr's appt, insomnia and pressure

I had an appointment on Monday at the Dr's. Everything went well. The baby is still floating - not even engaged yet!! I thought for sure the baby had dropped, but no such luck. So before we left, I asked the Doc how long he usually lets people go past their due date. He said that if my bp continues to stay where it is, I could be induced before my due date. Then he went to say that I won't pass my due date, no matter. So it looks like we will definitely have our munchkin by the 11th! We will know more when we go to the Dr's on Monday the 1st of December - my next appointment. Needless to say, we will be finishing everything up this weekend in case the Doc decides to induce me next week!!! I think it will be the week of the 8th, but then again, I'm no DR. LOL. So now we wait.
The insomnia is killing me. I'm up so many times during the night and then to be wide awake at 3am - 4am every day is horrible. I'm glad that I'm not working anymore because that was awful!! Now at least I can fall asleep during the day and take several naps. I guess it's just Mother Nature's way of getting me ready.
And of course, the pressure down there is wow. And the baby not being engaged yet means that when he/she does, it's going to be crazy. I have a feeling the the baby is leaning on something on my left side because that is where it hurts more. It's actually causing me to limp! Again, I'm so glad that I am not working anymore!!

Maternity leave has officially started

So yesterday was my last day of work!! It still hasn't sunk in. I'm sure it will once the baby is here. But like I told my boss, I haven't been off longer than 2 weeks since I was 17 years old. That's 17 years ago!!! So I think it is going to be a difficult transition, but then again, you never know. It may be the easiest thing ever!
I now have a long list of things that I have to get done. I have to prepare our bags, do laundry, prepare the baby's room a little more than it is, and I want to prepare some meals and cookies so that there will be some food in the house. We'll see how it goes.

Busy weekend!!!

I have such a busy weekend ahead of me that I decided to take Monday off from work to recuperate. I have a baby shower to go to today that my MIL is throwing. And then I have to go to NDG tomorrow to my cousin's for lunch. I believe it is another shower. I'm very excited about it! I know they are supposed to be surprises but because of where I live, people really had no choice but to spill the beans.
I am starting to feel lots of pressure and pains in the lower half of my body. It really is uncomfortable. It will be great when I'm no longer at work! My boss is trying to have me stay until Nov. 28, 1 week later than I planned. He said I could work from home M-Th and then come in on Friday just for half a day. It's tempting...still need to decide that one.
The baby is kicking and punching me which is great! He/she also does these slow movements that kinda make me feel ill...but it's funny. There is one new thing that the baby seems to have picked up, whenever I eat chocolate, the baby gets the hiccups. So my belly bounces around for about 10-15min. LOL it is too funny!!

Still going to work...

I had a Dr's appt on Wednesday and everything seemed fine. The Dr's word of the day was "normal". I didn't gain any weight this time - which I was ecstatic about LOL. My urine was fine and my blood pressure was OK. The Dr didn't seem to think that medication was necessary. I told him about all my aches and pains and it's all normal. So I have 3 weeks left of work.
On the Monday of our u/s, the baby was already measuring 35 weeks when I was only going to be 34 weeks on the Thursday. And the baby weighed in at 5lbs 12oz. The u/s pics also looked distorted and I was worried that it was the baby that looked that way. He reminded me that it is a one dimensional pic and that it is not 100% clear. I still worry but as my DH said - we will love this baby no matter what.
The Dr thinks that the baby shouldn't weigh more than 8 lbs in the end. Which would be nice :)
He also said that the measuring ahead was fine. So all in all, it went well. They were also able to tell that the baby is already head down. He/she is not engaged yet or anything but is head down and shouldn't turn again. This would explain the pains I feel in my left leg - the baby's head is on the left side and down, probably on some nerves.
My next appt is Nov 12th and the Dr. will be doing the strep test. Then I will be going every week to the Dr. The time is FAST approaching. 6 weeks until my due date. WOW!
I guess we should really start getting everything ready LOL.

Follow up today

We had our ultrasound on Monday and it was great to see the lil monkey. He/She was moving around like crazy. As the tech tried to get measurements, the baby would turn away. I wanted to confirm that the baby's feet were under my right lung/breast and as she moved over to the area, the baby started kicking like mad. Pretty much saying, hey get off of there LOL.
DH and I laughed like crazy. During the first part of the u/s, the baby had the hiccups.
We have some pics of the u/s but I'm a little nervous about them. There is something that bothers me. So before I post, I will check things out with my Dr today. My appt is this afternoon. I will also find out if I have to take meds for high blood pressure. To be honest, I think I will. I have headaches every day and I'm a stress ball at work. I have 3 more weeks of work until I'm off and it can't come fast enough. I manage to get in 3-4hours of sleep and then forget it. The aches and pains keep me awake the rest of the night. And my poor DH, he's awake too. This morning, he actually went to sleep downstairs. I feel so bad for him. I guess it's just Mother Nature getting us ready LOL.
I will update when I get back from the DR.'s.

On another note, for some reason I am not able to post on a friend's blog...could someone offer insight on this? I've never had a problem before but now it won't let me...

Labour and delivery course

We had our course yesterday and we both walked away happy that we attended. We were given a tour of the hospital and the rooms where we deliver and of course the post-labour rooms. There are 2 types of post labour rooms - semi-private and private. My insurance will only cover semi-private and the private rooms are $175 extra per day. So we are in discussions over this. I don't want to be in a semi-private room. I want to be along with DH and new baby. So I guess we will see what happens. We were given breathing exercises and positions to help relieve the pain. Definitely helpful. The nurse who provided the course spoke about everything you could possibly want to know about. It made me feel a lot better. They also really emphasize the importance of the coach and I know DH will step up for the challenge. There are so many things still to think about! DH and I have to devise our pain plan. This will let him know when I can't take anymore and what needs to be done next. They have these beautiful tubs in the rooms with these large walk in showers. DH will be able to bring his swim trunks and be with me in both. They have birthing balls and CD players available. There is also a lounge in case you need a change of scenery. The renovations were completed on the delivery area just this past summer. So it all still looks great.
It's creeping up faster than I can keep up!!
But today I will be picking up the crib and change table - YAY!!!
I am so excited. I will also be able to really start sorting the room out. That's been nagging at me for the longest time.
I will have to post some pics when it's done!

Going into week 33...

So I had a Dr.'s appt on Wednesday and it didn't go as well as I would have liked. I didn't gain too much weight for the first time in a while which is great. But my urine came back with a +1 glucose. The nurse asked what I ate for lunch - a chicken sandwich. Then when I went into the Dr.'s office, he asked the same info. It wasn't the sandwich that did it. So he is concerned.
I have already gone through the glucose test and it came back fine - no GD for me. He said we'll see how it is on your next visit.
Then he took my blood pressure. Again he wasn't happy. He says that it has been consistently high these last few visits and he may have to put me on meds. Then he said that he's sending me to have an U/S because he's curious to see how the baby's growing. This is when I became a pack of nerves. Lucky for me, my DH happened to be with me for this visit. The baby's heartbeat was fine and I still feel the lil monkey kick a lot. So I guess we'll see.
The Dr expected the high blood pressure/pre-eclampsia because of the PCOS. I didn't mention to the Dr that I get a lot of headaches lately. I've been chaulking it up to the BP issue before he even said anything.
Work is starting to stress me out because I am the only one who does my job and they don't know who is going to replace me. So, I haven't trained anyone yet. My last day is the 21st of November. My boss is going to be gone for 2 weeks soon as his wife is due any day. So I'm very stressed. I'm sure this doesn't help my cause.
And I can't believe the knee and ankle joint pain that I feel now. It has been a week that I am woken up by this incredible ache. I can sleep maybe 3 hours in a row then I have to sit up and rub my knees and ankles. Then I have to walk around. It's so painful. I don't know how I'm going to last another 5 weeks of work.
But then again...it's only 5 more weeks of work.

Thanskgiving supper was a success

I am happy to say that it all went well. We were only 7 people but it went off nicely. I was very organized which always helps make things go smoothly. I was a bit stressed in the morning as DH was working on little things around the house but he stopped when I needed him.
Today however, I feel like I have been out drinking for a 24hr period! I'm so tired and my body aches. I even have the hazy/cloudy feeling. Good thing that I don't have to do anything today!! My MIL is making supper, so I get to sit back and relax. Actually, I will probably sleep lol.
But they are used to it...sad to say I know.
Monday is going to be a recovery day. Maybe work around the yard...but overall, I will do nothing!!

Thanksgiving coming up

Well, it has been finally decided when we will be hosting Thanksgiving this year. It will be on Saturday around 3-4pm. So we have a lot to do until then. I figure if I do it on Saturday, I will have Sunday and Monday to recover. And I will need it!
I think what's going to hurt me the most is not the cooking but the mad cleaning that I will be doing. I will enlist DH to help out - that's for sure :)
I don't think I will be able to do Christmas this year, so I will make the best of Thanksgiving.
Even though I want to do Christmas...but I won't know until the baby is actually here because who knows when he or she will arrive.

Still feeling ill

I must have done too much on the weekend because I napped both Saturday and Sunday and still didn't feel like I got any rest. Then at work yesterday, I felt like complete crap. And not just for part of the day but ALL day. I'm working from home today but if I feel like I did yesterday, then I will call in sick and sleep all day. My boss, who's wife is due any day, says that it is normal. He said his wife felt like I did yesterday often due to the wonders of hormones. I didn't feel this bad through my first trimester...not even close! So hopefully I will feel better today...fingers crossed. So far - not sure.
Not counting this week, I have 6 weeks left of work!! I can't wait! I am having such a hard time sleeping through the night these days. If I don't get up to use the washroom, then my aching joints wake me up!!! LOL!
But then when the baby moves or I see the belly move around, it makes everything better :)

Making Progress...finally

We purchased the floating floor yesterday and according to DH, the room will be finished by next weekend. I also spoke to my work friend, the one who is selling the crib and change table to us, and she said that we should be able to pick it up next week :)
So it's finally coming together - yay!
We are also working together on getting the dresser stripped. Almost there on that one as well.
I can't wait.
It's really creeping up fast! I have about 6 weeks left of work. I've decided to make Nov 21st my last day. At least for right now.
I am very stressed about finishing work though. I've created a niche for myself at work and hopefully when I get back, it will be a fully functional dept with my own team and there is no one right now to train on what I do. My boss is going to be away for the next 2-3 weeks as his wife will likely give birth this week. So he will only be back in time for the last week of Oct. Then I leave 3 weeks after that with no one to take over my work. I know I shouldn't stress, but I do.
On the other hand...the fact that I'm going to be holding this little bugger in a few short weeks makes the stress go away for a while :)

Feeling better...sort of

Well after feeling like hell this morning and breaking into a cold sweat, I started to feel better around 9am. Then I started to feel the baby really moving this afternoon.
And then moving like crazy tonight - so much so that DH saw the belly moving.
I think I may have a touch of morning sickness because it has been a few mornings where I don't feel so well. Mind you, this morning was the worst by far!! But that's OK...as long as that's all it is.
The other thing I've noticed is the heartburn/indegestion that I have picked up every single time I eat a meal. It is crazy. I am going to have to change my eating habits and eat more frequently and less set meals.
At least the lil monkey is moving quite fine. I will be able to sleep tonight.

Very worried

I normally feel the baby go crazy in the morning and so far nothing.
I did have a Dr. appt yesterday and everything was fine.
But this morning, no movements...nothing. I am actually feeling light-headed and like I'm breaking out in a cold sweat. I also feel like I am going to lose my cookies. It's a good thing I am working from home today...I start at 7:30. If I don't feel better soon or feel the baby move, I will call the Dr's office. I just feel so weird.

Morning ritual, baby supplies and the baby's room

My DH and I now have a morning ritual where I lie on my right side and my hubby cuddles with me but puts his left hand on the belly. He waits until he feels a good solid kick/punch and then we get up. This morning, hubby had to have a chat with the lil monkey! Once he did, the baby gave him a real good kick/punch. It is so incredible.
We are both still reminding eachother that this is real! I catch myself checking out my reflection every chance I get. It's hard to believe the belly is mine lol.

We have finally started to buy a few things for the monkey. I had a lot of stuff already from my godson, but there were a few things that I wanted to buy. Now, I have to pick up the little things that I wasn't sure of like nursing pads, bottles, stuff for me and hubby while at the hospital. DH is starting to get anxious - he asked me yesterday if I had packed my bag and the baby's bag!! We are getting there, we picked up a cute little outfit to bring the baby home in. We bought a size that would fit a 10lb baby since we have no clue how big this lil monkey will be lol. And even though 10lbs sounds big... it is a tiny little sleeper.

The baby's room is still not ready. But things are slowly getting done. We did see a nice crib and change table on sale at Sears. But I am still supposed to be buying the crib off my gfriend from work. However, her son is still in it. This makes me a little nervous. I was hoping to have it by August and we are a few days away from Oct. I don't want to put pressure but on the other hand...we would like to set up the baby's room! I have no choice but to inquire this week because if she doesn't have a plan for when he will be changing beds, then we will buy the crib and mattress. Not sure if we will buy a change table or not. Will you be buying one? I've heard different opinions on this - some don't bother and say it is a waste of money and others swear by it!! What do you think?

Trial run at working from home

So Wednesday afternoon, I worked from home. My boss is the one who approached me on it and pushed for me to have it knowing the trouble I was having with the drive in and then eventually finding daycare. So it went well. Then next week I will work 2 days from home. If this works out, I will try to work until the end of November giving me more time with the baby afterwards!!
So fingers crossed!

The latest bits

So I had my most recent Dr's visit on the 15th. My weight has jumped a huge amount which scares me but I know I will work it off somehow after the baby is born. My fundal height is normal. My blood pressure was a little high for the first time since I found out we are pregnant. And he listened to the baby's heartbeat like he normally does, except this time he listened for a long time. This kinda freaked me out. So much so, that I didn't even think to ask why!!! But the fun thing is, I seem every 2 weeks now. So I go back Sept 30th. I will ask him then if there is something funny going on. The baby is still kicking and moving around, which is great. It lets me know that everything is going well. I am still growing even though when I look at myself, I don't see it. That's why I haven't posted another belly shot!! But I have already grown out of several clothes where the pants dig into my baby belly which I don't think is safe.
We got the call about our Labour and Delivery class which is on Oct 25th at the hospital. It's an all day thing and we have to bring our pillows. I'm pretty psyched about it and scared at the same time. I am anxious to see the rooms and know if we move rooms after the birth or not and if they are private. If they aren't private rooms - I will ask for one and pay the extra!! I was with my friend and my godson after his birth and being in a room with someone else while one of you is having problems breastfeeding and people coming in...definitely a private room for me.
I was also OVERJOYED to learn that my friend is expecting!!! It is such wonderful news!!
I am also happy to read her blog and know that like me she will be using cloth diapers.
I try not to share too much of our plans with people from work or family because I just get bombarded by comments and negativity. Don't breastfeed, don't bottlefeed, don't use cloth diapers, you won't have any time for yourself, forget about Christmas this year - you won't care...and so on. For now, I just say oh really and smile. But I know that I will figure things out on my own and decide what works for us!!
I was dead set against breastfeeding before and soon after we found we were pregnant. Then during our healthy pregnancy course, it seemed to make more sense. And now, I am going to try it. I haven't really told anyone because I don't want to put any added pressure on myself but I am going to post it here! There are too many benefits not to try it. And of course, definitely going to use cloth diapers at home. If all goes well, then that's all we will use but I will have some back up disposables for going out just in case ;)
Thank you to my friend for passing along the link to a website for cloth diapers. I have also found a place in Ottawa that has them as well. Just so many options!! It's insane!
I'm starting to freak out a little because I think that we still have so much to do to get ready for this baby!! The room is painted but we still have to buy and install the floating floor. I am also still waiting for my friend to let us know when we can pick up the crib and change table. Her son is still in the crib and was supposed to be out of it back at the beginning of Aug. We have a back up plan for that but I don't want to put pressure on her.
We are also in the works of stripping an old dresser and then going to stain it. Then of course all the extras to decorate the room... I think all this is causing me to have bouts of insomnia.
I will post a new belly shot and even post some pics of what we have purchased so far and maybe even the colour of the room. Sorry it's so long, I guess I should start posting a little more frequently LOL

What to do, what to do...

This post will be a bit of a mish mash of things since I haven't posted in quite some time.
All seems to be going well with the baby. I have been advised by my Dr. to take an addl iron supplement after I explained that all I want to ever do is sleep! So far it seems to be helping.
The baby has been kicking/punching up a storm. I am a little concerned that everything feels a little low but I will check that when I go back in Sept.
The belly is growing but I don't really see it too much. It seems to happen in spurts. But it's nice to actually look pregnant after all those years of just being a fatty and worried that I looked pregnant lol.
I have been attending healthy pregnancy classes with DH and we have actually found them to be useful. It only deals with the pregnancy and not the birth but helps with eating habits, exercise and of course breast feeding.
I will be honest and say that I am still on the fence about it. I like the idea of bottle feeding and that my hubby and I can share the time with the baby and the bonding. If I breast feed, I become the human cow. Only seen as mealtime to the baby. Also, the nurse in the course scared me, a breast fed baby eats between 12 and 15 times a day but a bottle fed baby only eats 8 times a day. 15 times a day!!!!! OMG! The benefits for both myself and the baby are tremendous if I breast feed so I will definitely keep this in mind as I continue to think this one over. Who knows, I may not make a decision until the very moment the baby is born.
I hope to post some new belly shots this week. Week 25...time is flying. I have about 2.5 - 3 months of work left. I am going to try to work until the end of Nov but I'm not sure how long I will last. I could leave as early as mid Nov. So I guess another time of waiting it out.

Baby update

Well it finally happened. I felt the baby move for the first time on Monday Aug 11th. I wasn't sure at first if what I felt was the baby or not, but as the days went by, there was a distinct timing pattern. And I can also happily report that DH felt the baby for the first time last night. I'm so happy that I finally felt the baby because I was really starting to worry. Everyone says - oh you haven't felt the baby yet... I was beginning to worry about the little monkey!

But so far all is OK. I go for another DR appt tomorrow. I get to find out how much more weight I have put on :( So far it was 10 lbs. So I guess we'll see. Haven't been eating healthy for the last little while, so I'm sure it won't be good.

We've been attending healthy pregnancy classes which actually don't touch on labour/delivery or anything once the baby is born. It is really about eating, exercise, breastfeeding and bad habits. I'm still going because it can only help. But I'm not looking forward to being preached to about breastfeeding. I don't believe I will be breastfeeding even though I know the benefits. It's just not something that I am comfortable with. Maybe I will change my mind once I have the baby in my arms...but until then, I am leaning towards a no.

We have signed up for labour and delivery courses which are offered by the hospital where we will deliver. Don't know when that starts, but I am looking forward to it.

Here are 2 belly pics from Aug 14 @ 23 weeks.

Healthy Pregnancy classes

So we start these classes tonight. Once a week, for 5 weeks, from 6:30-8:30.
I'm hoping that we will walk away with something.
I've heard different things about them so it will be interesting.
I've also been contacted to have a free consultation with a dietician. Not sure on this one yet.

Both DH and I are attending, so I hope we don't fall asleep. We are normally in bed by 8:30pm so it better be interesting enough to keep us awake lol.

On another issue, I still really haven't felt the baby. It is really making me nervous. I don't see the Doc until the 18th...that's a long way to go! We were going to buy a stethescope but you have to go to a specialty shop and pay a fortune for one. So I guess we have no choice but to wait!

Off to the class soon - I will definitely report back on this one!!

21 weeks

So I am now 21 weeks...definitely into my second half. Everyone that I speak to says that I don't look anywhere near to being 5 1/2 months. I am happy to hear that I don't look like I've gained tons of weight but on the other hand, my mind goes into overdrive. So now I'm wondering if everything is OK with our little monkey. I mean everyone says I should be feeling things now. I'll be honest, I don't feel any shoves or kicks or anything like that. And I'm still second guessing myself about the flutters. It's tough when no one's pregnancy is the same.

I'll stop thinking about it cuz I'm driving myself crazy. So, I will focus on the positive. I have gained 10 lbs since the start of the pregnancy. I'm pretty happy about that when I hear that other people have gained 50-80lbs. I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm hoping I can keep control lol.

Here is a picture that was taken just yesterday of my belly. I think it's getting there!!!

Let me know what you think!!!

Oh and that's part of our garden in the background. It's not doing too bad so far this year!! Can't wait for everything to ready.

Our Garden

It has been 1 year since we moved into our new home. Last year, it was too late to plant a vegetable garden. This year, we managed to plant one. We weren't sure how it would do but so far, it looks good. We only planted 5 different veggies; pink tomatoes, green peppers, red peppers, onions and cucumbers. We didn't want to go too crazy and then find out we picked a bad spot lol. We didn't. The garden is going crazy!! We had bugs eating the leaves, so I have sprayed a little eco friendly insecticide. Now they are looking great. We planted a little late which means that the fruits of our labour will be ready a little later. But that's OK - it's going to taste great!! Also, we have garlic. The people who had gardens before us must have planted them and they just keep coming back. The only problem is that they are in the middle of the grass! We are going to try and transplant them this year, otherwise, we will just plant new ones.
It's amazing to me how relaxing working in the garden is. Ok, well I just sit and watch as my DH works in the garden. It's difficult for me to stay bent over for long periods of time, so he gets to weed.
Maybe once we have weeded the entire garden, I will be able to post a pic!!

Still growing strong!!

So we had an u/s today and it couldn't have come sooner. Everyone keeps asking me if I feel our little monkey, but I don't think I do. I feel flutters when I lay down at night, but I always second guess myself.
Today however, we got to see that he/she was moving and enjoying their current home.
The tech wasn't great. She didn't really tell us anything and we had to pull information out of her. And all we got was 1 picture. And it's not very clear. We did get to see pretty much everything. Except of course the sex of the baby. We want it to be a surprise. But the baby's legs were crossed so I don't know if we would have seen anything even if we wanted to know.
It was very reassuring to see our little one. We also received our results from the IPS test and the Doc says everything looks great.
Once I have the pic available to post - I will.

Homeownership...

I haven't been around lately because all we've been working on is the house. Inside and out.
It just never ends.
DH just finished sealing the driveway and it took 4- 18L pails to almost finish it. We need 1 more pail to be able to finish the driveway completely. Luckily, our other driveway is gravel.
We also bought exterior paint so that we can paint the house. We knew this had to be done when we bought the house. Probably one of the reasons it was on the market so long is because there was a lot of work to be done. It's not so much expensive work but labour intensive.
Because I don't have the same stamina as before, I tend to work in the gardens. Important none the less.
We've also painted the baby's room. It definitely needs a second coat. That will be done this week. Then by September, we will put in the new floor.
I enjoy seeing the before and afters of it all. It really shows how far the house has come. We are not ready to sell but we always keep that in mind when we do any updates.
There is a beautiful hobby farm on the market not too far from us. 30 acres of land with barns and of course the original farm house built in 1892. It's so what we would love. However, we are not there yet. We both want land to be able to have our own animals and a HUGE garden. And of course to let the kids just be able to go out and play. We want them to have room to go out and use their imagination. Not be the kind of kids who sit in front of a TV/video game/computer all the time.
We aren't there yet, but we will get there. That's for sure.
I actually want a big farmhouse and I want my father to come and live with us. This way here he can do as he pleases and he doesn't HAVE to take care of everything himself. And of course he won't be alone. Of course these are all just thoughts/ideas right now. Nothing will be changing in the short term but definitely a long term goal.

Time off - time flies

So I am off this Monday and Tuesday from work. It feels good to have a 4 day weekend! We don't really have anything planned but since I'm not sure if we will be taking any vacation, it will have to do.
I will be 4 months tomorrow. Wow...time is going fast and slow at the same time.
I am getting bigger already. I will have to post a new pic soon. And I am feeling like a big fattie, before I lost my weight. When nothing I tried on fit right and I was always uncomfortable. So I am already wearing some maternity clothes. I have a friend who lent me a bin full of clothes, so I don't have to go out and buy a whole lot - even though I want to.
I have bought a few pieces. But since hubby is still not working, I'm not buying too much.
We are also in the process of getting ready to paint the baby's room. It's going to be a pale green. DH doesn't want a sage green, he says it is a little on the dark side for the baby. We will see.
And we did buy our first baby thing - a diaper bag. It is so cute! I'm not talented enough this early in the morning to post a pic of it lol. But it is brown/beige with bright colours and a bear. Very neutral and not too frou-frou! Which if you know me, I'm not so much a frou-frou person. There's actually a bedding set that goes with it. So I think that's the route we are going to go. I have seen some gorgeous bedding but I can't justify spending 300$ for a set that will barely get used since the blanket is not even used in the bed lol.

Dang that PCOS!!!

So the symptoms are back. I have been off the Metformin for 5 weeks and I feel the difference. I'm not complaining, that's for sure. I am just surprised that they came back. Everything I had read about PCOS is that once you lose weight, your symptoms fade and even go away. Not the case for me I guess.
I feel like I'm blowing up. And it's hard to say if it is baby or if it is PCOS. I would like to say baby - so for now we will stick with this :)
I have my 2nd OB appointment on Tuesday, so I am looking forward to it. My DH will be able to come with me again, which I love. We aren't sure if it will be another US or just the heartbeat. Either way, it will be great to hear/see Baby Hammie again.

On another topic, we did the coolest thing today. My MIL called this morning and invited us to the airport (it's a little local one - nothing commercial), where they were offering an all you can eat breakfast outdoors and then if you wanted to, you could sign up and take a spin in a little Cessna. So my DH and FIL took a spin. Neither of them have flown, so they were ecstatic!!! They said it was crazy fun. It was a gorgeous day out here for it. So cool, when I lived back in the city, I don't think there was ever something that cool to do!! Yay for the country life lol.

Will I ever be able to enjoy this???

Even though we had our appointment not too long ago and saw baby Hammie moving all over the place, every once in a while I worry. I wonder if everything is still OK. I have my next OB appointment in one week but it's going to be long until then. I keep worrying that since my symptoms are gone, that it is not a good sign. I check my belly for where it is hard and convince myself its gone. So I have my DH check it. He says it's fine.
Maybe all the obstacles we went through to get to this point makes me feel like it just isn't happening.
On the other hand, I know that the baby is fine. And I don't worry about every little twinge.
I guess it is still sinking in that we are actually pregnant. 14 weeks today.
Wow.
I just have to keep my thoughts positive....we have a baby coming!

Baby Hammie - our little ninja!

So we had the u/s yesterday and wow. That's the best way to describe it.

We were told that the spine thickness was good - normal. Which is exactly what we want. So fingers crossed that the blood work is ok as well.

We were in with the tech for quite some time. It was great to see. The baby was moving like a madman/madwoman. Bouncing and kicking. Putting his/her hands behind the head. At one point the baby did a full spin - I guess to show us every angle. Baby Hammie was actually a little ham lol. My hubby calls himself a ninja - the way he's quick at things and the way he moves...very comical. So all he kept saying yesterday is that the baby was a little ninja - picking up his father's moves LMAO.

But it was nice to see, to know that everything is still growing and moving. It puts my mind at ease. So my next DR appt is June 17. Then I have to do another round of blood work on June 23. So busy busy busy. My next u/s is only when I am 18-20 weeks. It feels like so far away! The baby's heartbeat was close to our last u/s - 168bpm. Again - normal. We like normal.

Here's a little picture of baby Hammie. The tech has put an "H" for the head, "B" for body and "L" for legs. The little white spots are the denser bones. The rest aren't as dense yet so it doesn't pick up on the u/s.

So I'm a little late...

I took some belly shots on Tuesday since I hit 12 weeks! So here is one at least.
Since I lost 49lbs my stomach and pot area were pretty much flat. Not so much anymore.
My last weigh in with Weight Watchers was back in April - 191lbs and when I weighed in at the DR's office last week, I had lost an additional 1lb. So I know it's not because I stopped Weight Watchers.
So here it is...don't laugh. The pants are too big on me - they are a pair of size 18 and I'm down to a 14 now. Well I was. My thighs are not an 18 at all anymore :) So the pants look like they are floating on me.

There are other pics but for whatever reason I am not smiling in them at all even though I am ecstatic about it all!

I'm so shocked at how big I look. Some people I know don't show until like 6 months!!! The top I am wearing is not maternity - it is a top from Reitmans. Gotta love the look that is popular right now - maternity LOL! I did buy a pair of low rise cords from Old Navy. So I have 1 pair of pants. They don't really make pants for the in between person. Only for when you are out to there!

That's OK - I will survive that's for sure. Really excited for today - we are going for the IPS screening or Nuchal(?) test. So it's another u/s of the baby. I'm hoping that everything is ok. I haven't had too many symptoms except yesterday I had cramping and nausea again. I hope that's a good sign :) I also hope they give us a print out - I would like to post a new picture of Baby Hammie.

Little by little

I am slowly starting to spread the news of the baby to friends. There are still some friends that I don't really talk to much anymore that I know I should tell...but I'm putting it off. I think it's because I'm afraid that once I tell them, something will happen and I don't want to have to back track. I don't mind with my close friends but those that are distant...
And of course, I am going to do it the cheap way and send an email. Not the best way to send an annoucement but they are distant friends.
I am going to try and have a picture taken of my new little pooch (baby belly) but it won't be pretty. I will post it either today or tomorrow.
It's my Nan's 86th birthday today and we are having a family party. It will be nice to see everyone. They all know but I haven't seen them since we annouced it.
DH is still off work with his ankle. It's nice and it sucks at the same time. It's great because he is able to fold clothes for me :) but on the other hand, it makes me not want to go to work! Oh well, I can't complain. I will have about 50 weeks off soon enough.

Another ultrasound!!!

So May 20th was our first prenatal visit. It was great. I live in a small town and I guess they don't see too many situations like mine since the nurse/receptionist was so excited to see me. She said that she was so glad to see the referral come through from the RE. That was nice to hear!
Stepped on the scale to see the damage of not following Weight Watchers and believe it or not, I lost a pound. I will have to update my weight loss ticker lol.
We were the first appointment for Dr. E and he was another surprise. He was over the moon about us being pregnant. Hubby and I couldn't get over how genuinely excited he was for us.
So we talked about what we had seen with the RE and he said he wanted to see for himself. HUH?!? I wasn't expecting an ultrasound in his office!! So needless to say we were both giddy to have another glance at Baby Hammie. So it was a full house for this movie - myself, hubby, Dr. E, medical student sitting in and the nurse. It was a nice sight. The baby measured 11 weeks yesterday - about 3.78 cm. We saw the little heart beating like crazy - awesome. We were also able to see arms and legs. What a relief to know that everything is still moving along.
We talked for a bit afterwards and he has put in the high risk catagory for my pregnancy. He basically said that he will be monitoring me closely because of how long it took us to get to this point and also because of the PCOS, I am at a higher risk of developing high blood pressure and then of course once he found out that both my mother and grandmother had high blood pressure, he said that doesn't help either.
He basically told my hubby to pamper me. :) I know he will.
Dr.E has put my EDD at Dec 11th. So I guess we'll see :)

We have decided to do the IPS screening offered in Ontario for Downs, Trisomety 18 (?), and neural tube defects. I told the Doc, no amnio. And he agreed. But we are going to do the u/s and b/w to see if there is anything off. This way here, we can prepare ourselves if anything. The wait for the results is going to be tough, but if we don't do it, it would be even tougher.

On another note, my hubby sees a specialist today for his foot. He has an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. I won't be able to take him but I'm sure all will be fine. He's still hobbling around with crutches. The wonderful colours are coming out now - the blues, purples and greens. I think that's a good sign - things are healing.

Interesting long weekend so far!

This weekend started out pretty bad actually. My husband has been planning to redo the roof on the garage, well actually just one side. So his brother and gf came over Friday night to help. We were getting near the end of stripping the old shingles, so my hubby decides to pick up the platform of the scaffolding and carry it to the garbage bin we ordered. It is covered with old shingles and he wants to dump it directly in. Well, doesn't he slip on the little hill and hurts his ankle. We went to the emergency room. What a fun time. I can't complain because we don't really have to wait long at all. It's a small town, so we were in and out in an hour. But the x-ray dept was closed, so we had to go back Sat. am. It took us about 2 hours on Sat to find out that nothing is broken. He is off it though and on crutches. So I am taking care of my dear hubby. Sometimes testosterone can cause a lot of problems!!!

I haven't been around much lately as all I want to do is sleep. I can't get over how tired I am. My nausea has been tapering off a little, which is fine. But the indegestion is still there in full force. It seems that I have a little baby belly. When I lost my weight, I was finally flattening out. Well I am no longer flat. My lower abdomen is popped out and firm. And of course my upper stomach is just flabby now. I have no energy to do any treadmill in the morning (or evening for that matter). I feel very bad about it. But that's OK, I will get back into it once I'm out of my 1st trimester.

I also haven't been eating very well. My cravings have been taking control. I mean no fast food, but lots of pizza and chips. VERY BAD!!!
I have my first prenatal appointment on Tuesday. I so hope we can hear the baby's heartbeat. I will freak out if we can't.

Time seems to be going fast and slow at the same time. We have so much to do and I feel like we have tons of time one day, and then the next I am in panic mode lol

Well, I'm off to lay down again. Yes - I'm tired again :)

To my dear friend...you know who you are,

Thank you so much for your support in this.

What a beautiful message!
You truly are a great friend!

Big weekend for us!

So we have decided to share the great news that we are expecting to our extended families. I'm not sure if I will let all of my friends know but at least my family. I'm very nervous about it because I'm such a worry-wart. I keep thinking what if this or what if that. But as my hubby said (and someone else mentioned) if something bad does happen we will still tell them about that too. True.
So, we have purchased a card to give to my grandmother congratulating her on a new great-grandchild. I hope she will get it lol. Once we tell her, everyone and their dog will know. My grandmother loves having the first scoop!! I'll fill you in later on how that goes. We are heading to the South Shore this morning to visit my Dad and then my Nan.
My symptoms seem to be easing up a little which is making me nervous. I don't know if it is because we are nearing the end of the first trimester or if it is something else.
I still have the tender and very heavy boobs, mild cramping, mild headaches, moddiness/irritability, frequent peeing, indegestion and I get full fast. So I think it is safe to say that Baby Hammie is still growing. My nausea is not as strong and is not happening every day. I think that's the one that scares me the most. I never thought that I would be wishing for morning sickness lol.
May 20th can't get here fast enough let me tell you. I just want to hear that heartbeat again to know that everything is still ok. Of course then when that's done, I'll be wishing for my next ultrasound lol.
Oh - hubby and I are toying with the idea of not knowing the sex of the baby. I mean if we see it, then we see it. But I don't think we are going to ask to know. We'll see how that goes :)

Coming out of the closet...

OK. I have been putting this off long enough. I must announce that I am pregnant.
FINALLY!
My hubby and I are still cautiously excited.
We haven't really told anyone yet other than immediate families and one of my very good friends. We have been too afraid to say it. Almost as if we would jinx it. But, my very good friend reminded me that I should be enjoying this time. (thank you)
So... I will. I'll start by blogging about it first :)
So here's the story about what's been happening.
We had decided to POAS back on April 13th. And it came back positive. We were both in shock and disbelief. After peeing on who knows how many sticks over the years, it was a complete surprise. I had a few odd symptoms like sore teeth and sore boobs, which I never have, but I didn't really suspect that we were preggers. I called the RE who had us come in on April 15th to do a blood test and they called us back the very same day to confirm it! Hubby and I were very happy to know because the suspense would have drove us insane.
We announced it to my Dad and his Mom on the 13th of April. And then announced it to his Dad and brothers on April 26th.
The RE kept my same appointment for May 1st, making it an OB u/s.
I've been experiencing lotsa different symptoms which is OK because it let's me know that Baby Hammie is still doing his/her thing. TMI coming up!! I've had nausea, insomnia, cramps, and gas. I have also been exhausted like crazy and have had very sore boobs. But I am not complaining at all.
The u/s on May 1st was amazing. We were both in awe of what we saw. I will post a pic of the print out but it's very hard to see. We were able to see the heartbeat and hear it - amazing!
On Thurs. May 1st, the baby measured 7 weeks and 6 days and his/her heartbeat was 167 beats per minute. The doctor was very happy with this. So much so, that I have been released to my regular OB. Our first prenatal appointment is May 20th. Can't wait. I just want to hear the heartbeat again to be sure all is OK.
Oh and our due date is December 12th. An early Christmas present :)
That's the scoop with me.
Here's the u/s pic. The baby's head is on the right side. The arms and legs are just buds atm and hard to see.

Just another day

So we have been moving things around in the house. We are going to be putting some floating floors in the bedrooms downstairs, so the computer room has been moved upstairs to the loft area/my hobby area. It's not too bad though.
We are looking into several updates for the house this year although, not sure how much of it we can afford. The wind storm we had in January ripped several shingles off the roof, so that has to be redone. Hubby likes the idea of putting tin up since we are in a wind tunnel area. He also wants to put up siding around the house. Right now, it is clap board - not nice. The gentleman who owned the house before us has never painted it, so it looks like a hillbilly house. Ok - not as bad, but I don't like it. So I guess we'll see. We also want to change the windows in the basement and the porch. I think only part of our plans will be completed this year, but thats fine. The house is a long term project.
We didn't get any outside work done because of the weather. And I didn't do any real cooking yesterday. I'm really slacking in the whole cooking thing lately. I am also supposed to be using the treadmill at this very moment but am just not feeling it. Yes it is 5:10am. I'm such a slacker. I will however do my arm weights at lunch today at work so at least there's something lol. I'm just so tired. All I want to do is relax and veg. Hubby has a new nickname for me - Lazy bones.
Nice.

Will the nice weather ever stay? I have kept clothes from when I lived out west, which is a long time ago and I actually fit into them now lol. I mean some of it is not stylish at all (was it ever?!), but some of it is general clothing and I need the nice weather to be able to wear them. I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe when I have bits of one already. The weather just has to cooperate. Until that time, I am wearing clothes that are way too big for me and I look like an arse.

Garden pics

My first attempt at attaching pics...bear with me lol.

The first picture is the flower bed at the front of the house.

The second picture is the flower bed around the apple trees.

So much yet not much!

Things have been pretty crazy lately but not very busy. Odd I know, but it's true.
I haven't written about my weight because I stayed the same as I did previously. So nothing interesting there.
We have started trying to sort out our flower beds and where we will put the garden. The flower beds are taking longer than we ever imagined. We took possession of this house last July so by the time we moved in on Sept 1, everything had grown so far out of control that we didn't even attempt to tackle it. The elderly gentleman that we bought the house from had lived here for 4 years but was unable to take care of it. The millions of rose bushes were OUT OF CONTROL. We have tried to tame them and will get rid of a lot of them. Then there are the bazillion peonies and all the ants they attract. More stuff to get rid of. Along the entire back of the house are hollyhocks. My hubby's favorite lol. They end up standing about 8-10ft tall. It's crazy I tell you.
On the side of the house, we have a crab apple tree and mcintosch apple tree. Around the base of both, making one long oval flower bed, are TONS of flowers that we didn't even know were there last year. So we are trying to fix that up. It's almost done. Then it will be a matter of weeding it every once in a while.
Maybe I should mention that we live in a house that was built in 1952 so there are a lot of mature trees and lilac bushes. It's beautiful but needs to be put under control.
Ok - back to my flower beds. In the front of the house, there is a slight hill. On this hill is a big flower bed that is framed by large stones, cemented together. There are some very pretty flowers in it as well. But you would never know it since it looks like a part of the lawn. It is full of grass and weeds. Since this is a job for 2 people, we tackled it on Sunday. We got only a third of it done and we filled 1 garbage bag with the weeds/grass. It's unbelievable.
That's pretty much what has been keeping me busy lately.
We both really love the whole gardening thing and putting around the house on a Sunday.
So we are going to try for the rest of the summer to stay put on Sundays and do some putting. I know, I know, we aren't that old yet! But let me tell you - we just love it :)
I'm going to try and attach some pics of the yard.

Ok so I cheated!

I was at the gym at work this lunch hour and there is a scale there. I just couldn't help myself. I had to step on it. Now this is the first time that I have done this, normally I don't even go near it. I wait for my weigh in on Saturday. But no. I couldn't do it. I think it's because it has been a horrible week food wise. And in the exercise dept too.
So I step on the scale and it says I've lost another 2 lbs...? I'm not going to get too excited but holy crap! That would be awesome.

3lbs, really???

So I weighed in yesterday. And to my BIG surprise, I lost 3lbs. Wow. I still kinda don't believe it. I've had 3 weigh ins in a row where I have lost more than 1lb. It has to be the arm weight routine that I added. I haven't changed how I eat so that's the only difference these days.
But, I am so slacking on the cardio part. I really don't have the oumph to workout.
I guess I better get in gear, otherwise, I won't lose anything next weekend!

Another day, another pound (I hope)

This week has been pretty brutal. I really went off the wagon. But it's the first time since I began my WW's journey, so I am not going to be too hard on myself. All I'm hoping is that I stay the same weight. I can handle that. It didn't help that I TOTALLY slacked in the exercise department. It really has been a bad week for me. I think the whole POAS outcome really got to me. But it's a new week (WW's wise), and I get to start "fresh".

I won't be making anything exciting this weekend since it is going to be the perfect BBQ weekend. Finally some nice weather!

Try, try again!

So no luck with the POAS. But that's OK, I kinda expected it.
I'll just wait until May to see the RE again.

I did manage to make the lasagna with meat sauce from Weight Watchers. Really good stuff. DH loves it.
I also made the no bake lemon cheesecake squares. They are great and only 3pts a serving. Now, I did make a booboo, which normally I don't do. But we had company at the same time, so I was half into it. Needless to say, they still taste AMAZING!!! I will definitely make this again. I was supposed to add 1 cup of white sugar to the cheesecake filling, but forgot. I think it would have made it too sweet. But it may have helped solidify it a little more. But it's great nonetheless! Did I mention that?!
Pick up the Crazy Plates cookbook if you can - worth every penny!

Just not feeling it

So tomorrow morning, we are going to take a test. I'm pretty sure it is going to be a BFN but I have to take it to be sure. I feel like I'm tumbling backwards. This no period thing is taking me back to before I was dx with PCOS. I just hope that the RE doesn't have us start all over again. I think if that were the case, I would take some time off from the whole TTC job. Yes I said job. That is what it is starting to feel like and it shouldn't.

I did have a great weigh in today at Weight Watchers. I'm down another 1.5 lbs. 19 lbs to go until goal weight! Maybe by the end of summer I will have reached goal.

Going to try and relax tonight if I can...will be back tomorrow with the outcome. Although I'm pretty sure already :(

Oh and I'm making weight watchers lasagna tomorrow and some no bake lemon cheesecake squares (only 3pts!).

This and that

The only recipe I made on Sunday was 0 pt spaghetti sauce. It's actually not bad at all. I used it last night as pizza sauce on whole wheat crust. Very tasty!
Let's see if I am going to finally make my low-fat banana bread this weekend. I have been promising my hubby for almost 3 weeks now. But this is the first weekend in a while that we don't have to run like crazies so it might actually happen.

AF still hasn't showed her face. I'm starting to believe my RE that I didn't ovulate. I have had some weird things going on with my body but I could just be making them happen.
If I don't have AF by the weekend, DH and I have decided that I will POAS on Sunday morning. I know I am going to be heart broken to see a BFN but, I need to know to put my mind at rest.

I haven't exercised as much as I usually do this week. I seem to be having trouble sleeping so I am waking up exhausted. I know I have to do it if I want to continue to lose weight. It'll be better next week.

Trying new recipes on Sunday

I am supposed to be trying some new recipes tomorrow, low points recipes. So I am very excited. If they turn out OK, I will definitely share them :)
2 of them are crock pot recipes. All in one pot and cook. I like that on a Sunday!!!

Gotta be happy about something...

Good news first - I went to my WI this morning and lo and behold, I have lost another 2.5 lbs. w00t! I now have 20.5 lbs to go until goal weight. I can't wait!

Bad news. I went to my appt on Thursday and of course I still have 2 cysts that need to heal. So I am on a continued break. I have another appointment on May 1st to see if they have healed anymore. She did say that they have reduced since the last time. But not enough to start back with the meds. I then asked her if she thought I may have ovulated on my own since I have lost so much weight. And her response was, "about as likely as you did before". Nice. She didn't say it in a mean way or anything. I'm sure she was just being realistic about it. But after hearing that I was not going to start back on the fert drugs this month, I was pretty upset by her comment.
I was pretty sure I O'd this month...but who knows. I guess I will just wait and see.

Beware - mini vent/rant
I also got news that another one of my friends is pg. I am so happy for her but I was so sad and upset at the same time. I really wonder if it is going to happen for us. I mean it has been almost 2 1/2 years since we started this journey. The ups and downs are really taking their toll. I find that when I'm alone, it's all I think about and it brings me down. So much so that I am almost in tears. I know that my DH feels useless when he sees me like this, so I try not to let it show.
Then on Friday, about 20 min before the end of my work day, my boss hands me my time off request sheet back approved for May 1st and he says that I should go to my HR dept and tell them all about what I am going through. I almost died. He knows about it but he feels that they should be made aware as well because they have flagged me for my absences. Yay. Just what I need. To be watched and "spoken to" for absences on top of why I am going to all these appts. It's not upsetting enough. I'm afraid that if I tell them, it will make its way around the office. Then there's the point - it won't make a difference if I tell them why, they are still going to flag me for my absences and hold it against me at the end of the year when it is raise/bonus time. GAWD this is such a pain!!! I'm sure my boss is right and I should let them know.
I'm sure I'm PMSing - that's why I'm in a slump right now. I know I will bounce back soon enough :)

1 more down - 23 to go!

So I am very happy that my weigh in on yesterday showed a loss of 1lb. I was sure I was going to gain. My eating has been pretty much out of control lately. I have a feeling it's because I'm PMSing. I get crazy moody and super hungry!!
But even if I am PMSing, I'm not too upset. I know that I will be seeing the RE on Thursday and hopefully we will get the "all clear" to start using a trigger.

So now the fun begins!

So I think that I am now in the 2WW. If AF doesn't show on April 8th, then it is time.
I know that I shouldn't think too much about it. I will be working with the RE and a trigger shot on my next cycle if my cysts have healed. But I am still hopeful that I may have pulled it off this month on my own. So I will be analyzing every little thing I feel, wondering if it is a symptom.
I will try to concentrate on my exercise and weight loss in the hopes that I won't think about it too much (ya right!).

Blah Blah Blah

I had my weigh in yesterday and I didn't lose anything, I stayed the same weight as the week before. I'm hoping it's because I added weights to my workouts this week. I ate pretty much as I always do. So I'm crossing my fingers that it is the weights. Only time will tell!!

I made a cake Friday night for this weekends festivities. I brought half of it with me to the in-laws for lunch and the other half is for our supper tonight. The cake is out of this world. I can't believe it is a low-fat carrot cake. No one could tell the difference. It is the "Must Bake Carrot Cake" from the CrazyPlates cookbook. Incredible! I didn't take any pics because I was in such a rush yesterday morning.

So I am supposed to O in the next day or so. We are hopeful that this month is it. But then again, we feel this every month lol. I have been told to BD every other day by fellow Cysters but my RE hasn't said anything about that. So DH and I have decided to BD when we want to! If it is every day, then it is every day. DH has said that his sperm should be OK because he has super sperm. The RE shared his s/a results on our last follow up. His count was at 75mil. and 70% mot.
The RE has said that she likes to see it at 25mil. and 50% mot. So he is good to go!!

Rollercoaster

It was just last night that my DH and I realized that we have been living month to month since we started TTC. Every month, waiting to see if this would be it. This stress, paired with the clomid/serophene, is quite an emotional rollercoaster for the both of us.
Sometimes I wonder, when is it enough. When do we stop waiting. I am holding off changing jobs because this might be the month and because no company will want a new hire who will only work a few months and then go on mat leave for a year. We are being frugal with our money so that we will be able to buy all the things we want to for a new baby.
I'm on CD17 today, so we should be ready to start doing the BD around Friday or Saturday. I don't even know if I will O this cycle since I am not on any meds or being monitored. But it won't stop us from trying :)
I'm not one for rollercoasters but I will be staying on this one, at least until we can't go anymore.

Here are some of the lyrics from the Dixie Chicks song "So Hard". Definitely hits home with me!


It felt like a given
Something a woman's born to do
A natural ambition
To see a reflection of me and you

And I'd feel so guilty
If that was a gift I couldn't give
And could you be happy
If life wasn't how we pictured it

And sometimes I just want to wait it out
To prove everybody wrong
And I need your help to move on
Cause you know it's so hard

It's so hard
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
So hard

Quiet Sunday

So I am just taking it easy today. The weekends are never long enough and I never seem to find the time to just sit and relax. So this afternoon, I am relaxing. Although I have to start making supper soon lol.
Weigh in yesterday was good. I lost 1 lb. That brings my total to 40lbs with 24lbs to go.

Weigh in tomorrow

So tomorrow is weigh in. Not sure how I did this week since I really didn't plan my meals for the week. I'm disappointed but who knows. I would love to lose 1 pound because that would bring me into a new level. I didn't exercise as much as I wanted either. For whatever reason, I can't seem to get adjusted to the time change.
With the gym opening up again after renovations at work, I will be able to do my weights and abs there. Leaving me with cardio to do at home, which I currently do at 4:30am.
So as of today, I have lost a total of 39 pounds. I'm hoping for at least one more tomorrow.

Trying not to think too much about babies. But it's hard with so many people in my circle of friends and co-workers either pregnant or with kids. I'm on cd11 and I should O somewhere around March 25th. RE says that I shouldn't bother temping since I am monitored throughout my cycles so closely. This cycle being the exception of course since I am on a break due to cysts. I'm hoping they will heal by the time I go for my next u/s so we can start back on the Serophene and start Ovidrel.

Well, here it goes!!

So here is my first post with Blogger!
I want to share my ups and downs of TTC, PCOS and weight loss. I will also try to share some low-fat/cal recipes that I have tried.

I am trying to lose the weight that I have put on in the last few years. I joined weight watchers on Nov 24 and so far I have lost a total of 39lbs. So I am very excited about that!! 25lbs to go to reach goal weight!
Since losing the weight, some of my PCOS symptoms have gone away. What a bonus.
Now I'm hoping that the weight loss will also help us to conceive.
I am currently on a break from the Serophene and follow ups until April 3rd when my RE will hopefully give us the A-OK to get back on. I have hemorrhagic cysts that must heal before we try again, so I am crossing my fingers that all is good. And if it is, we will also start the Ovidrel. Nothing but good things to come!
But I am still secretly hoping that this month, since I am not being poked and drugged, maybe, just maybe, I will ovulate on my own and we will get pg.