Rollercoaster

It was just last night that my DH and I realized that we have been living month to month since we started TTC. Every month, waiting to see if this would be it. This stress, paired with the clomid/serophene, is quite an emotional rollercoaster for the both of us.
Sometimes I wonder, when is it enough. When do we stop waiting. I am holding off changing jobs because this might be the month and because no company will want a new hire who will only work a few months and then go on mat leave for a year. We are being frugal with our money so that we will be able to buy all the things we want to for a new baby.
I'm on CD17 today, so we should be ready to start doing the BD around Friday or Saturday. I don't even know if I will O this cycle since I am not on any meds or being monitored. But it won't stop us from trying :)
I'm not one for rollercoasters but I will be staying on this one, at least until we can't go anymore.

Here are some of the lyrics from the Dixie Chicks song "So Hard". Definitely hits home with me!


It felt like a given
Something a woman's born to do
A natural ambition
To see a reflection of me and you

And I'd feel so guilty
If that was a gift I couldn't give
And could you be happy
If life wasn't how we pictured it

And sometimes I just want to wait it out
To prove everybody wrong
And I need your help to move on
Cause you know it's so hard

It's so hard
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
So hard