One week...

I'll be honest, I really don't know if I can do this! Well, I'm pretty sure I can do this once I'm on a routine, but I think I should say I really don't know if I WANT to do this!! I love my DH so much. He's my best friend and the person that I tell everything to. What am I going to do without him or someone to talk to? I know that most women have their moms to talk to or a BFF, but I am not one of those women. I have great friends, but none that I really talk to about everything. I don't like people spreading my business around and so I don't share it! I come from a smallish town where gossip is like gold and I just don't want my gold going around.
My DH leaves in a week. He'll be gone for around 5-6 weeks before we can see him! It will be 1-2 weeks before we can speak to him. And we can only chat on weekends. It's crazy!! But I know he's doing this for us, for the kids.
To add to my stress, a close family friend that I know as an Aunt passed away yesterday. It was unexpected even though she had health issues. She was having tests done to help her but nothing pointed to her passing on so soon. She came to all our family functions and is going to be missed dearly. I don't do well with people passing on at all...I mean no one really is, but I cry at the drop of a hat. It's going to be busy the next few days with visitation, funeral and swearing in.
And on top of all this, I have to make some food to freeze and clean the house. Ugh...I hope I can do this!!!

My mind is like a hamster on its exercise wheel!

I can't seem to stop my mind from going and going. If I stop myself from thinking about one thing, another one creeps in. I'm exhausted.
I am currently planning my son's baptism which is coming up in about a week and a half. It's not too bad, but we are having a reception afterwards and I have food to make. Then my DH is leaving on Nov. 6th. And I actually don't want to think about that. I've got to make some blankets for my kids and my friend's daughter. I have to get down to my Dad's and help clean up the house for when we stay there. I have to clean this house and get my DD's winter clothes out and mine! I have to make some frozen meals so that I don't completely go crazy and not eat when my hubby's gone. We have to do our Christmas shopping but since my DH is not working and we are living off my 55% salary, our families will not be getting big gifts this year, let me tell you. In fact, DH and I won't be exchanging gifts. We will spend it on the kids. Well more for DD. She has her bday at the beginning of the month and then Xmas. DS is still too small to really appreciate it, but we will definitely get him a few little toys.
I need to purchase an Ergo carrier. DS is such a whiney bugger and is only happy when I'm carrying him. He's heavy though and the carrier that I have is great but it hurts my back. So I have to go to Ottawa for that. The list just keeps growing...
Thanks for reading this ramble. I needed to get it out there. Again, I'm sure there will be more of these to come!

Time is going way too fast!

There is SOO much going on in our lives right now that it's almost too much. Princess G is doing great. She amazes me at least once every day! She's such a little person now. She repeats everything we say and gets it! She understands. She's been putting words together for a little bit like there it is, but the other day, she said Mommy, Bunbun and pointed to her lovey. It brought tears to my eyes. As for the little prince, he's growing like mad! He's a real monster. He's still in the curve from his last visit, but definitely at the top of it. Like I said, a real monster. When I mentioned to the Dr. that he wakes up during the night, eating so much formula and that I was trying to hold off giving him cereal and she said, don't wait - give him cereal. Since we started cereal, life has been SOOO much better. He's getting some sleep at night (and sometimes so are we). Definitely better.
I'm not exercising which really sucks. I'm stuck with my last 10lbs to get to my pre-pregnancy weight with Princess G. It's bugging me, but I know I'll get there one day.
My nerves and stress level is way up there. Come Nov 6th, I'm basically going to be a single mom. And I really hope I can do this. I'm so worried that I won't be able to and just end up having my kids hate me. I have to be everything to them. My DH leaves Nov 6th and I won't see him for 4-5 weeks. Then I might be lucky to see him on the weekends. He will be home for Christmas and then gone again until mid-March. Then he's gone and I don't know when I will see him or be with him again. It may not be until Aug or Sept 2011 before we are living under the same roodf!!! The thought of this makes my stomach turn. I know we are doing this for us to have a better life and a life where the kids can grow up with a parent at home, but wow, this is going to be rough. Depending on how it goes, I may end up spending more time with Dad. I have a good support system available to me back home. Where I live now, I have my MIL who is great, but she also works shift work. So she's not always available. And that's it!
Ugh, I have to stop thinking about it otherwise I will never sleep tonight.
Just needed to vent a little. I'm sure there will be more venting to come as the date gets closer.

It's been ages!!

Well...where to begin? I had my little boy on April 29th. It was a rough c/s but all is better now. I kept telling myself that I can go natural for my next baby and it won't take me so long to recuperate. I had my follow up with my OB and because I've had 2 c/s, he says that the next baby has to be a c/s. I'm so upset about this. But it won't stop me from going for a third baby (if my body still works by then).
The first 8 weeks were really rough but it is getting so much better. I actually think that I may have a some PPD. I am to keep an eye on it and I'm hoping that with some exercise and perhaps sending Princess G to daycare once a week will help. We can't send her just yet because we don't have enough $$ coming in atm. But when DH starts his job in November and I'm alone day and night with the 2 of them, I will be sure to find the cash!!
I'm trying to think of ways that I could supplement my income when I return to work but so far nothing has popped in my head. I know that we are going to be clearing out the house and selling a lot of stuff in a yard sale at the end of Aug but that's about it. We had hoped that I wouldn't have to go back to work once DH started his new job, but he won't be making enough until next fall to be able to stay home. So I have to go back to work while he is away. That means getting ready to go to work and getting 2 babies to go to daycare, preparing lunches to go with them and then picking them up and making supper. Just the thought of it is scaring me. But I'm sure I'll be fine. I just have to get into a routine before I go back to work. But then I think, on top of that, I will also have to get the house ready to sell and everything...ugh! But I still have time before all that happens (if it does).
Aside from that, having 2 kids so close together definitely has its ups and downs. There are some days that are great and others that are horrible. I think my big problem is that they aren't on the same schedule, so Princess G loses out on a lot of play time because of Prince O. I feel horrible about that. DH has put up a fence on a section of the property so that there is a safe place for her to play. Now we just have to find some outdoor toys for her!!
Well I think that's enough for now. But now that Prince O is sleeping a little better, I may have more time to keep up!!

Chugging along...

Less than 2 weeks to go until we meet this new addition. Everyone (and now including myself) thinks this is going to be a boy. So, I'm preparing myself. I would have liked a girl because we have TONS of girl clothes and the 2 girls would be close together but a boy will be just as fun, I'm sure! And it gives me an excuse to go do more shopping LOL. I'm totally in love with a store out here called Bonnie Togs. I think it's only in Ontario but they carry great clothes for kids (Carter's and Osh Kosh). April 29th is coming fast...but some days not fast enough. I have an appointment next week with the Dr and then another with the hospital for b/w. Then I have an u/s the day before the c/s as well as a Dr's appt. So I will be busy. I have started to pack but it's hard to get myself organized. I can't really move or lift anything since this belly is HUGE. My Fundal height is off the charts at 41cm atm. Even my Dr. joked around and asked if there were twins in there. Ha ha...not funny at this point. The baby's HB is staying up around the high 150s which if I go by the old wives tale, is a girl. And this baby is estimated at being about 10lbs at birth. Yay...I get to hear how BIG that is and what a BIG baby that is. I still hear it about Princess G. I hate it because I don't want her to be labelled. She is just fine the way she is. She doesn't eat junk food and eats a variety of fruits and veggies as well as pretty much any meat. She's doing just fine.
OK, mini ramble over. Off to make a blanket for a little boy. I've already made a pee pee teepee cover thing. Trying to prepare myself for a little boy :)

Pregnancy update

I guess I should begin with the update on my pregnancy. It has been one heck of a pregnancy. My first was really good even though I had sciatic pains and symphisys (sp?) pain. But this time around, it has been on a whole new level. This little bugger is sitting SUPER low and is just a huge monster. At almost 32 weeks, the baby weighed in at 4lbs 14oz. A little monster by any scale LOL. I had been having some mild cramping for about 2 weeks when finally on Tuesday, I noticed some orangey/pink tinge on the TP. That freaked me out. But I thought, it's nothing. By Wed. morning, it became more pink than anything else and the cramps became more like period cramps. I went to work like usual and called my OB's office. They told me to go to the ER. From the ER, I was sent up to the L&D case room where they set me up to be monitored. Lo and behold, I was having contractions less than 5 mins apart. WOW! At least now I can finally say I know what contractions are LOL. I was put on an IV for fluids and my OB did an internal check of my cervix. Cervix was closed and not efacing. He also did a fetal protein test to see if I was in pre-term labour. He didn't want to wait for the results, so he went ahead and gave me the steroids to help the baby's lungs. I was admitted to the hospital for the night. The test came back negative which is great. But I still had to be monitored for the night. I didn't get out until yesterday around 4pm. The contractions have diminished to nothing and no more spotting. My OB has put me on rest for a week. Problem is I have no more vacay time left since I was set to start my mat leave next Thrusday. Oh well, guess I'm starting it early!! So I'm home but resting for now. My c/s is scheduled for April 29th but I think this baby may come a little earlier, either on his/her own or by my OB uping the date of my c/s.

Big news! big news!

We have a walker!!! She has been attempting to walk for a few days and always assisted walking. But yesterday, she began her walking all by herself. She just gets up and goes. It's awesome. It's still cautious, but she's doing it!!! It's awesome. She's also going to sleep in her crib nicely for naps. She still falls asleep on me for bedtime but I don't mind. Ok, it's me that can't give that one up yet. But she's doing a great job. She has 12 teeth and is working on her 2 lower canines.
It's incredible how time is flying.
My pregnancy is going well. I have bad sciatic (sp?) pain but I am surviving. I have bad bouts of heartburn every once in a while. But all in all, kinda the same pregnancy I had with princess G. I am still waiting for the Dr to tell me when my c-section will be but I know it will be at the end of April. My belly is HUGE!!! Even my GP said that my belly is HUGE...very scary to think how big this belly will get.
On another note, I hurt my foot last Saturday morning. Well, someone else hurt my foot LOL! DH decided to play like he was dead weight in the kitchen and lean on me. So I was trying not to let him fall. But I couldn't hold him up. He was falling over, I stepped in to stop him and he put his knee down...right on my foot. It was crazy painful and it puffed up instantly. I couldn't even walk on it. My foot is still extremely painful. I did see my GP about it, but she didn't want to send me for x-rays because of the pregnancy. So, I'm just kinda waiting it out. Who knows if it doesn't feel better soon, I may just have to make a little trip to the ER. Blah!
So that's the latest from me. Hoping to have a little more time, but with work and our night time routine - I find it hard to find the extra time!!