Getting back on the TTC wagon!!

So now that we have moved a few provinces over and are slowly getting settled, we have decided to get back on the TTC wagon!! Yay! I'm excited and scared. Excited at the possibility of expanding our family. Scared for 2 reasons - I won't work this time around and at expanding our family LOL.
We won't be starting until the end of December as that's when I should be O'ing. And if that doesn't work, then  it will go to beginning of Feb. After that, I think it will have to wait until 2013 (which I'm not a fan of). DH kind of knows his sailing schedule for 2012 and it looks like he is going to be gone for about 240 days. So no real way to be able to TTC when he's not here LOL. But I won't worry about that for now. I'm just going to concentrate on December! Yay!!!

New things on the horizon

I can't say how happy I am that the house is now sold. No more visits, no more water tests, no more anything. Yay! So we will be vacating this house in 4 1/2 weeks. 4 1/2 WEEKS!!!! My DH "should" be home in 4 weeks. I say "should" because you just never know what may come up. Now, there are a few hiccups that we are dealing with at the moment. And of course there would be. We actually don't have a house to move to yet. We have to wait on one becoming available since we are going to be renting for a bit. So I am stressing a little about it but I have zero control over this, so I'm just kinda going with it. If there isn't one available, then we will have to live in a hotel for a bit. The other small hiccup is that we are still waiting for DH to be told where exactly he will be living for the next 2 years. It could be east coast or west. We are praying for east. I don't want to go back to the west coast. Although it is beautiful and a must see, it is a must not live there for me.
Aside from those 2 little issues, I'm looking forward to what's to come. We are going to work on becoming debt free, which will be attainable. Maybe not this year but early next year for sure. And that's going to feel great! We are going to be able to have a schedule. I'm going to be able to workout! DH and I are going to be able to go on dates! There is so much going on where we are hoping to end up. There is even child care (1 - 2 hour babysitting) at $5/hour. That is so great! I can do shopping without hauling the monkeys along. The sad thing will be leaving our small town and the country. We are planning on buying out in the country when it comes time move. If we are east coast, then country is about 30 min from the big city.
Lots going on in such a short amount of time!!

Stressball = weight gain

So here we are working on selling our house. We have an offer and the conditions need to be lifted by Wednesday. Well, I think that there is only 1 out of the 5 conditions that have been cleared!!! One of them is a problem with our water. It seems no matter what I do, it's not clearing. We don't drink it but the water should be perfect. It was perfect when we put the house up for sale back in April. Very odd that ALL OF A SUDDEN, it's not clear. I did another test this morning and my fingers are crossed, but something tells me it will come back bad again. I know, I know, positive thinking but it's hard these days. The buyer is also trying to work out his financing. He has the money from the sale of his house, but it will only be available April 2012. He's trying to work something out with his bank. Still no news on that one either! He's been working on it since the 14th!!!! That can't be good right? And of course the house inspection is "scheduled" for Wednesday as well. So needless to say that I am a BIG STRESSBALL atm.
And of course, I'm down about it all and not being with DH doesn't help. So my healthy meal making is all but non-existent (obviously any healthy eating is out of the question). Of course that means that I'm gaining weight like crazy. I had some great weightloss in July but then everything went downhill. I've gained about 7 lbs since then and it feels like 37! I'm bloated and feeling horrible. Some minor symptoms from PCOS are creeping back up as well.
With us wanting to work on baby #3 as soon as we live together again, this isn't the way to go to get there. We were very lucky with baby #2 that we had no medical intervention, but if I keep things going the way they are, we will be back to square one and seeking medical help for conception. I would rather not go this route.
I'm searching for the motivation to get back on the healthy meal train, but it's hiding really well this time. I know that I will have to do WW again to lose the weight. I will try the online version for the 3 month special. That should give me enough time to lose some weight and get ready for another baby. But again, that rests on us selling the house. So much is resting on this. Lots of prayers, fingers crossed and positive vibes. And if you have some that you can send my way too - that would be greatly appreciated :)

Just by a thread

Things are so crazy right now, that I'm keeping it together by a thread (just barely). I currently have an in-law living with us who helps out with the kids and chores but she will be leaving in the next 2 weeks so I will be alone with the kids. It's going to be interesting. Add to that, that we are trying to sell our house, I'm a wreck!! Everything else about our moving and to which coast is now also up in the air...I'm falling apart. And I can't for the kids.
It will be 1 year in November since my DH and I have lived together. We are both ready for this to be done. This, combined with all the bumps that we have been dealing with, really makes us rethink our choice to join. But, no looking back now, we just have to go with the flow. But I don't like it.
Of course with all this stress, my healthy eating and exercise have been tossed aside. And I don't really have any "me" time, so I'm trying my hardest to keep my sanity.
This is definitely a ramble/rant and I suspect that there will be more to come...

What to do, what to do....

Ok, so I don't even know who reads this anymore, but I'm putting this out there anyways.
I want to put together another blog. I know most people focus on 1 subject and work from there, but there's just so much swirling through my head these days that I can't just pick 1 topic. I LOVE to cook and bake. Love it. It makes everything better when I'm down and it's just the right pick-me-up. I can fit cooking in (almost) any time! I want to post about great recipes that I've tried. But then I also have a new found love for sewing. And I want to document my progress because I'm a beginner and want to improve. I also want to blog about my family and any crafts that we tackle together or projects that help me be a SAHM. So it would be a total mish mash of everything. Would you read something like that?
I toy with the idea off and on...I wouldn't give this blog up as this one is for my personal struggles, victories and thoughts. Hmmm...what to do, what to do???

Being a SAHM!

Even though I was home with DD for a year on mat leave and again with DS, it still is not the same as being home all. the. time. It's different. Being on mat leave is like vacation, you do things because you know you won't always have the opportunity. Now that I'm a SAHM, I have to schedule things so that I don't "do" everything all at once LOL. Don't get me wrong, I love being with the kids and seeing everything, being there for everything. But it does get crazy.

I am working towards a proper schedule to help me out. Pretty soon I will be alone at the house with the 2 kids so I definitely need to menu plan and schedule house cleaning. And with us trying to sell the house, I don't want to be running around like a maniac to clean before a showing.

And on the house selling note...still nothing. I wonder if this house is ever going to sell.

Back to our crazy life. Because DH is military, I am home with the kids by myself. I have help sometimes from family, but usually just me. It's pretty crazy. It's tough going shopping with the 2 kids, my DD is FIERCLY independent. She wants to go where she wants to go and that's that. So there are a lot of power struggles but I don't shy away from the confrontations when we are out and about. I can't. I hate the attention it draws and what some people must be saying but I have no choice. So when you see someone with some crazy kids - please be patient LOL.

I love being there for the kids. I just know that I need them to be involved in more programs. Unfortunately, they don't have any out this way. I will be trying a "gym" class out for DD but it's 45 min away. And pretty pricey too. I would take the kids swimming but there has to be 1 parent per child. So until I can clone myself, it's just me.

Down and can't shake it!

It's been almost 8 months since my DH left. We've seen him twice since he moved to Hali which is great but it's just not enough for either of us. The house has been up for sale since the end of April and so far, just 1 visit. My thoughts right now is that the house won't sell until next year.

Ugh. I'm home now with the kids as a SAHM and it's crazy! I have no contact with other moms since I live in the country. There is the EYC out here but the timings don't work with the kids nap schedules. I'm trying to keep them busy with all this rain but we are all going crazy. And well, when 8pm rolls around, I'm so exhausted, in every which way. I wake up in the morning and I don't feel like I slept at all. I was supposed to have help to keep everything top shape and sorted but that's not happening. So not only are we living off 1 salary, I'm going to have to hire someone to mow our lawn since it's not getting done and it looks like a jungle. I also have to tackle the gardens at some point but since I have the kids with me all the time, I can't do it. I really am down and cry at the drop of a hat. I try to keep it to myself as I don't want the kids to see it. And I can't talk to DH bcuz he's down as it is. He doesn't need to hear about me and that I'm down. I just wish I could shake this. Maybe once the sun comes out again!!! Ok, enough complaining...
This post was written at the beginning of May but I couldn't publish it.